Friday, June 13, 2008

Republican Gives New Meaning to "Hardened Criminal"

Ah what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to blow a man in his sleep. Wait, is that how that quote goes? I always get it wrong. Nevertheless, future young republicans will do well to observe the sentiment if they want to avoid the fate of Glen Murphy Junior who recently pleaded guilty to performing oral sex on a sleeping man. Yes. The victim was sleeping. Because, you know, men typically have to be tricked into receiving oral stimulation. It's not as if a guy could just walk into a bar somewhere and find a willing participant. It would never happen. So rather than face impossible odds, Glenn Murphy chose to make a pass at the guy in the bunk bed below him. It's always better to make a pass at someone when he's sleeping to avoid any awkwardness. Anyway, I congratulate Murphy for pleading guilty and wish him the best of luck in the future.

Best part of the article? The animated ad for Fischer's hot dogs featuring a hot dog flying into a man's gaping mouth. Could that really be a coincidence? Really?


Pierce said...

The ad I was greeted with when I clicked the link was an ad that started with large letters proclaiming "You'll Feel The Difference"

a bit strange I say.

Butternut said...

Maybe he just tripped and fell on it. Repeatedly.