Rising fuel costs have prompted local and state governments to explore new ways to cut costs, and possibly Johnny Law's waistline. According to "USA Today", cops across the country will be driving a lot less. Some will even be forced to (gasp) walk.
I have yet to see an increase in cops walking through my neighborhood, but as soon as I do, I'm robbing the nearest liquor store. In fact, I encourage other Americans to follow suit. Go out and commit minor crimes that will force our men and women in uniform to give chase. At this stage in the game, you can probably outrun them. Under normal circumstances I'd advise folks to escape in a getaway vehicle but, you know, gas prices being what they are...
2 comments:
I have the biofuel solution: donut powered cars. Good for the environment, great for law enforcement. Win-win. Call them Krispy Kruisers. They would have the added benefit of smelling like fried curlers when they pull you over. Who wouldn't want to be harassed by the police when they smell so good? When they taser you and beat you with their nightsticks you will smell like a big bear claw. Heaven.
I see a flaw in that plan of yours, Butternut: Donuts require a ton of oil to make. Too bad cops aren't more fond of, say, hummus.
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