Thursday, September 18, 2008

Hoy, Sois Todos Latino Americanos!

Today, you're all Latin Americans.

This hits home for me. Yesterday McChange refused to confirm whether or not he would meet with Spanish President Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, and I applaud his caginess.

As many of you may or may not know, I once lived in Latin America. I was an exchange student in Spain, and I have many fond memories of my time spent in the country. It was my junior year of high school, and I was living and going to school in Gijon, a city in Asturias on the Northern coast of the country, about a half hour away from Oviedo, a city recently featured in Woody Allen's latest film Vicky Cristina Barcelona. The region was celebrated for its cider and, of course, its coca plantations. Each day I would walk the three and a half miles to school. It took me almost 45 minutes each way. If I was running late, I would take a short cut through a drug lord's "garden". I'd like to say no one ever shot at me, but I'd be lying. We are never so careless as we are in our youth. Fortunately, one of the guerillas took a shine to me and made a point to shoot around me instead of at me.

Mid-year I moved to Gerona, a town in the Catalan region of Spain. Unfortunately, Gerona is NOT featured in Vicky Cristina Barcelona. If I had to guess why Woody Allen didn't have Penelope, Scarlett or Javier make a day trip to this beautiful town, it's probably because he didn't want any of his actors caught up in one of those kidnapping rings that are so prevalent in Latin America. Woody made the right decision. Had the film crew ventured much further North of Barcelona, the world might be deprived of a glorious menage a trois, and I might never have realized that what I've been missing in my love life: a loving, committed relationship with Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem.

But I digress. What's important is that Senator McChange stood his ground and refused to be bullied into meeting with a reckless NATO ally intent on increasing his country's cocaine production. The less experienced Obama has already said he would meet with the leader. Idiot!

2 comments:

BROOKLYNJOE said...

You are hilarious. I think candidate McPalin is trying to cater to that forgotten constituency the print media will soon categorize as "the non-intelligent." If Generalissimo Francisco Franco was the topic of conversation, McPalin would probably respond,"The fundamentals in foreign policy with our friends in Italy are still strong.."

Butternut said...

I ran that quote through my Political Double-Speak To English translator. It reads "McCain: Who?".

Former P.O.W. McCain III doesn't need to waste his time meeting with the South American President Jose. Spain is just another Muslim country not worthy to meet with such an illustrious and virile man. He's putting Spain, Cuba, Bolivia, Costa Rica, Tijuana, Cabo Wabo, and all the other non-Christian drug growing countries on notice. USA doesn't talk to strangers.

"... I would walk the three and a half miles to school." Barefoot, right? It's hotter that way.