Saturday, January 31, 2009
Phelps Used New Asthma Medication Delivery System
At least that's the defense I would go with if I were stupid enough to use a bong in front of a bunch of college students I didn't know. Then again, athletes aren't generally known for their smarts.
Hey celebrities-who-make-money-off-their-squeaky-clean-images: It's called "behind closed doors". That's where you're supposed to do things like bong hits and get your underage drinking on. Never mind that we do it too. That's our business. Your business is to maintain the illusion that you're pure, so that we will purchase products.
Although maybe it's time we rethink this strategy. Maybe it's time for us to stop being nice, and start being real. Why do the Michael Phelps' of the world have to hawk cereal and tomato sauce? Phelps already had a stain on his record for driving under the influence. Why shouldn't he be the face of Jagermeister? He could do, "I now get trashed responsibly" ads, featuring him puking in the backseat of his designated driver's car.
Just kidding! He should pretend he made a terrible error in judgement, apologize to his fans and his product sponsors, and promise to never do it again (in front of dip shits with camera phones).
Then we could go back to thinking our heroes tossed back broccoli and skinless chicken to let loose.