Monday, January 17, 2005

Liposuction for the Soul

That's the title of a new book I'm going to start working on. When I determine what it will be about, and then actually write it, I'm hopeful that its success will rival that of the ever popular Chicken Soup for the Soul series.

I envision an inspiring collection of anecdotes that reinforce and validate selfish behavior so that small-minded people don't have to feel guilty for their behavior.

I once knew a man--I'll call him Tom--who gave generously to a non-profit organization created to provide care to the homeless. This man's contribution enabled the organization to feed and house a psychotic individual that ended up stabbing Tom. The knife-wielding psycho damaged Tom's spinal chord in the attack and now Tom is confined to a wheelchair. If Tom had kept his money to himself, he'd be jogging right now.

I knew an actress that got a lot of flak for being "vain." She pissed a lot of
"women" off in bars because she hogged the bathroom even when there were long lines for the restroom. On one such occasion she was taking her time putting make-up on in the bathroom of a noted Hollywood hot spot. The person next in line pounded on the door and screamed for her to hurry up. Then that person collapsed because she had done too much blow. Had the actress hurried up, the coke head would have overdosed in the restroom and not received medical attention in a timely manner. Because she overdosed in front of a bunch of people, someone was able to call an ambulance. The coke head later went on to win an Oscar. We, the public, would not have enjoyed the coke head's Oscar-winning performance if the vain actress had any consideration for the other females at the bar.

Like Chicken Soup for the Soul author Jack Canfield, I am open to any uplifting stories other people have to offer.


Sean said...

I'm not sure how uplifting this is but I saw this movie one time and this guy entered a wrestling contest and won, well the dude that was suppose to give him the prize money short changed this wrestling champion, well wouldn't you know a bad guy came in after the wrestling champion left his room and robbed the short changer guy and as the robber was running away, the wrestling champion let him easily escape without stopping him at the end of a hall or something. Guess what, the robber ended up shooting the wrestling champs dad on the street.

I guess the uplifting part of the story is the wrestling champ hooks up with Kirsten Dunst at the end of the movie. :)

hfgvcsx said...

""...LOL!!! That's hilarious, Laura!!!!! :)

rageous said...

This friend of mine, and I'll refer to him as "I" or "me", had something he thought would fit well into this project of yours.

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. "I" was coming out of a quaint Chinese restaurant in Pittsburgh with girlfriend in hand. There was a beggar outside whom "I" had seen going in, and so "I" gave him the General Tso's chicken "I" had intentionally not eaten to give to him. He politely thanked "me."

The same man was seen outside the restaurant the next night as "I" walked by going to a different destination. When he asked "me" for some more food, "I" had to tell him I didnn't exactly have any in hand nor was "I" heading to a place to eat. He asked for money. "I" had some, but not wanting to become part of the nanny state pretended not to have any and really didn;t feel bad about doing so.

The beggar decided he needed to upgrade his resume, and mugged "me." Apparently, a man of his high social esteem becomes upset when they learn they have been lied to, so "I" ended up getting reprimanded about honesty from the guy who was robbing "me."

By the way, if you're ever in Pittsburgh, "I" highly recommend you swing by Lu-Lu's Noodle on Craig Street in just off Carnegie Mellon's campus. The guy isn't around anymore, and the General Tso's chicken and Crab Rangoon are quite delicious.

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