Friday, February 25, 2005

For Your Consideration...

This is going to be a quick entry because I'm running out the door. Anyway, today when I was at Griffith Park I came up with a game to play while watching the Oscars. Sadly, the game is incredibly immature and was inspired by some rather immature behavior by my friends and I at a recent drunken outing. We were all hanging out at a bar in Korea Town when someone suggested we play the drinking game "I Never." You may remember the game from when you had pimples and couldn't yet drive. The way it works is someone in the group begins a statement with the words I Never and then says something like "been arrested" or "tried cocaine" or "blogged about the game I Never". Anyone in the group who HAS done any of those things has to drink, and that's how to discover which of your friends has a sordid past. So we all played that game and I learned some very interesting things. For example, one of my friends hooked up with a guy at her grandfather's funeral. Also, the game usually works best when people have had a lot to drink because they're more likely to reveal things...things like making out with someone at a funeral.

So as I was hiking today, I came up with the game Celebrity I Never. This is similar to I Never but it's more gossipy. You still say, I Never, followed by whatever, but then people in the group have to drink in character. For example, if I said, "I've never been arrested," someone might answer, Tonight I will be playing the part of Carmen Electra, and then drink. If I said, I've never made out with a woman, someone might say, "Tonight I'm playing the part of Ellen De Generes", and drink. Stupid? Absolutely. Fun? My pet homosexual loved the idea, so it must be good.

Speaking of pet homosexuals, I will be spending Oscar night (or day, for those of us on the West Coast) at Guy's house.

For your reading pleasure (and because he likes to get attention in my blog) here's the invite Guy emailed me:

I will gay out. A lot. I’ll start talking about Merle Oberon and Ed Begley Sr.. I’ll rave about Edith Head and challenge my guests to gape at my unusual knowledge of Oscar history. I’m probably going to threaten to set myself on fire, I may actually set myself on fire, and if Cate Blanchett wins, I’ll be really, deeply, emotionally ambivalent.

However bad or good the Oscars may be, if you come to my house for the Oscars, I promise you will see a man being as gay as is humanly possible without penetration being involved.

Boyfriends and girlfriends and such things may come so long as they aren’t boring.

Also, there will be a contest to see who can find the meanest thing to say about Hillary Swank and Jamie Foxx.

Alcohol and something to eat will be produced.


dingo said...

Ok.. Who said blogs are supposed to be boring?

I guess when you are Laura Swisher it doesnt matter.

Whatever you do.. do not share your sex toys with that gay guy.


Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

*Bloggerific is hoping a sober stenographer with good handwriting attends this gathering for accurate accounts to be taken for future postings*

samureye said...

Wow, good thing that was a short post.

dingo said...

hope u enjoyed the oscars

dingo said...

Nasdaq didnt change for 10mins

This worries me.

tokyocrunch said...

My Fellowes for the Authore's Occasional Replee to the Comment String, we must unite!

Does anyone know who sells parchment after 10?

Sidecar said...

I never killed a guy.

Healer2K said...

Surprisingly, I didn't have any harsh thoughts about Swank OR Foxx last night. :)

dingo said...

Swank's a jag.

outdated post.


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