Friday, February 04, 2005

She Broke Up with Me

She won't return my calls. I got her on the phone last week and told her I needed to see her and she said she'd call me back. She didn't. I called again a week later--perhaps she was busy and forgot to call--and left a message: "Hey, it's Laura. I'm hoping you have some time this week that we can get together. Give me a call back when you have a chance." Did I hear back? No. Clearly she doesn't want to see me again. I don't know why. And it sucks because she was the first eyebrow threader I'd seen. She taught me that waxing wasn't as precise and laid down a plan to get my eyebrows to their optimum shape, even if it meant filling them out a bit with eye shadow until all the hair grew back that waxing had taken away from me.

So now we're going on six weeks that I haven't seen her. I'm tweezing a little but it's really damage control at this point. I could go back to my waxer. She does a great job, but now I know about threading and it won't be the same. So now I have to find a new threader.

Every day that passes my eyebrows get worse, more unruly, like an unkempt yard. It's almost to the point that neighbors would start to complain or report me to the neighborhood association for not grooming properly, for threatening the value of their property. But I don't know what to do.

A friend told me of someone she knows in Beverly Hills. I hate Beverly Hills. My threader was a fifteen minute drive away, and next to a Starbucks! Where will I ever find that again? I don't know.

It's situations like this that make me question if there's a God and, if so, how he/she could be so cruel as to do this to me.

In the meantime, I guess I'll post an ad on Craigslist.


Genuine Otaku said...

Seriously, I can't stop laughing.

Idgie @ the "Dew" said...

Do what I do - grow bangs.

My manicurists have given me such a complex. Every time I get my nails done, they ask me if I need my eyebrows "fixed". Gah.

Grow really long bangs.

Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

I have an easy fix for ya. Two index fingers - simple and you'll appear to be deep in thought.

Well, not that you don't appear deep in thought at the moment. Actually, I'm having trouble seeing you at all. Could you, like move those brows, I can't see the forest for the trees!


santana said...

Extremely funny once the way WTF is an eyebrow threader, does she thread the eyebrows, I just cant see that in my head. Someone is sitting on a chair with her head back and some lady, or guy, threads their eyebrows, its funny. Maybe I should go thread my eyebrows just to see what its like.

Jenny said...

I was in the beauty supply in Culver Center (Culver City, Overland and Venice) when a woman came up to me and told me my eyebrows needed to be threaded. She works out of the store doing it. Unless this is the girl you're talking about, since it's near a Starbucks.

Spider-Man said...

Heya Swish,
Spidey here. I gotta tell ya, when I read your blog, curiosity got the best of me so I hit google and looked up just what exactly 'threading' was.


Dang Swish! That is absolutely REVOLTING!! My eyebrows twinge just thinking about it!

Spider-Mans opinion on the break up???
Good Riddens!!

Spidey Out
Keep On Slingin!!

Fredtimbo said...

"When God closes a door, He opens a window."



Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...

LS, you've been napping long enough, we are in need of your humor...please come back to us LS!

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