Thursday, June 02, 2005

Burn on You!

Remember how much fun it was to burn people--not literally, of course, but metaphorically? You know, when you'd sneak up behind someone, yank their shorts down and yell, "Burn!" Or hurl water at someone as you run by? Those were good times, my teenage years.

Cut to me yesterday, walking down the stairs of my apartment off to a gig as my friend, coincidentally, starts walking upstairs. We meet about three quarters of the way down and he fake slaps me (as in not hard). To get him back, I do the same thing, only as my hand swings around to hit him, my feet don't want to cooperate and somehow lose my footing and fall down the stairs. I don't fall head over heels or anything; I just end up at the base of the stairs, more or less unscathed. I'm missing some skin off the top of my left foot, right knee and left hand index finger. I'm pretty sure the finger injury occured when my left armed flailed upwards to try and grab the railing, but scraped against the wall instead. How did I scrape the top of my foot? I have no idea. All I know is that I looked ridiculous.

As this is happening, my downstairs neighbor rounds the corner with his dog. He has that look on his face that says, "Is everything all right?" and then he asks, "Are you all right?" I say yes without making eye contact. The fall must have been loud because my upstairs neighbor pokes her head out the door, "Is everything okay?" So pretty much everyone in my building happens to be around when I make an ass of my self.

There's nothing worse than hurting yourself when there are witnesses, especially when the cause of said injury owes itself to your clumsiness. The pain of being seen is always twice as painful as the physical pain.

At a certain company that I used to work, the game room was pretty much a glass room, including the doors. If you're not careful it's easy to mistakenly walk into the door thinking it's open when it's not. So this one day my boss was walking at his usual fast pace, on some kind of mission, and he smacks into the glass. Face first. Hard. He falls down, his nose is bleeding and it's serious enough that he has to go to the doctor to get his nose looked at. I forget if he broke it or not. My first question, when I find out about it, isn't whether he's okay, but whether or not there were any people in the game room. There were. Ooh. Ouch. And then, when I thought about it more, I started laughing as I pictured him slamming into the glass. Couldn't help it.

People running into glass is funny. People falling down stairs is funny. Mothers falling off stools=funny, even if they don't see it that way. When I was in junior high my mom was standing on a stool in the kitchen to get something out of the cupboard. The stool slips, she ends up on the ground, I have to put my best, "Are you okay?" face on to share my concern. I could barely say the words without laughing, and my friend was in the hall laughing. I could see her but my mother couldn't. So I'm fighting back the laughter and she's goading me and my mom is pissed that I could be so callous.

What can you do? It's funny. Except when it happens to you, like it did to me, yesterday.


Jason aka Dark Magician 25 said...

Poor laura I hope you get over the pain of this "burn" soon. Actually i did something like that the other day and it was a little more embarassing than being seen by my neighbors. Much much worse. I am currently babysitting my dogs, well mine and my sisters dogs, and i feel while trying to feed them yesterday. I had just put the food down and the littlest one ran right behind me and made me fall while i was trying to step over him by jumping suddenly and throwing me off balence.

So of course I fell got back up feeling incredibly embarassed and noticed my dogs were staring at me. Now we all know that dogs cant say anything but they way they were looking at me mad me feel like they were laughing. And much like you i had lost some skin on my left hand and on the tops of BOTH my feet, now that is odd. Anyway just wanted you to know atleast you had people to ask how you were...I had dogs that i thought were laughing at me and i was bleeding, you were much better off.

Matt Hartley said...

Glad you are OK. That could have been a real problem had the fall been serious. The fans on this site would have to pool their funds together and hire a Laura stand-in until you were back on your feet. And let me tell ya, that is pricey! I ought to know, I've looked into it just in case such a need arose.

(Seriously, I am glad that you are OK, Laura. Quit trying to smack people, girl!)

Back on topic: Way back in like 1986, I was doing a sweet catwalk on my BMX bike trying to impress some girl (figures) and ended up hitting the curb to the sidewalk. As luck would have it, I was thrust forward over the bike and onto the pavement where I met my fate with a very hard thump.

Laying there stunned, I half expected to be showered with love and kisses from this young woman. Instead she stood there doubled over, laughing her ass off. Needless to say, there was certainly no love connection that day! ;o)

Idea Assassin said...

I, too, have taken the 'tumble' down the stairs. I was delivering a pizza at the time. Had just dumped off my delivery and was walking back down the stairs at a boy's prep school. I thought I heard someone coming up behind me as I started down the stairs and instintively turned my head just as I took the first step. Of course, since I was no longer watching where I was going I missed said step. 2 seconds later I found myself at the bottom of the stairs, stunned. One of said boys of this prep school happened to be walking by and didn't so much as glance in my direction, much less offer condolences for my pain. So, with pride bruised and a broken toe I shambled back out to my truck and promptly quit my job, never to deliver pizza again. Just remember, it's tragedy if it happens to you. It's comedy if it happens to someone else.

Aaron said...

Sorry to hear about your fall.

huh huh



*points and makes faces*

Butternut said...

pwned! lol

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Hoodia said...

Help me Dude, I think I'm lost..... I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw him in a car lot yesterday, which is really strange because the last time I saw him was in the supermarket. No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender". He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a San Diego cosmetic surgery doctor ,to fit into those blue suede shoes of yours. But Elvis said in the Ghetto nobody can afford a San Diego plastic surgery doctor. Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger. Then I'm gonna go round and see Michael Jackson and we're gonna watch a waaaay cool make-over show featuring some Tijuana dentists on the TV in the back of my Hummer. And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . . "You give me love and consolation,
You give me strength to carry on " Strange day or what? :-)

clandis said...

Now this is funny ;)

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