In exchange for 5 autographed pictures of me and an outgoing voicemail w/MY voice! This is a great bargain, a limited time only offer. Cabin owners have only two days to take me up on this offer before deal goes back to normal (2 signed autographs and NO outgoing voicemail).
I'm planning on a 4th o' July weekend out of town. Before I pay good money on a cabin, I thought I'd give someone a chance to let me use his or her cabin for free. But it's not really "free". I mean, you'd get headshots PLUS bragging rights. I'll even hang a framed copy of my headshot in the cabin myself, over the fireplace or where ever you choose. I could write Best Wishes [your name], or a message of your choosing. Then, when attempting to attract renters, you could put in your ads, "The cabin where Laura Swisher stayed!" You'll get booked out for the next year or so with that kind of advertising.
But, whatever, it's up to you. Also Bean would come with. Bean: As seen on TV. That's 2 famous mammals in your pad.
I'd prefer to stay on the lake, preferably in a cabin with access to a pier. If there was a canoe or something in the garage that'd be great too. A deck, jacuzzi and a grill would be nice. Fireplace doesn't really matter, however, cause it's summer. But if you want me to stay at your place for free during ski season, I'm gonna need both a fireplace AND jacuzzi.
Anyway, I'll get going now. Leave your name and phone number in the comments section so I can get back to you.
Now I'm off to perform.
Sorry. I've been rude. The title makes it seem as if I'll only accept a free cabin at Big Bear Lake in California. Please know that I am happy to take advantage of cabins anywhere on the West Coast (including Canada) provided they are situated near a large body of water.
Okay now go ahead and make your offers.