It looks like Senator Rick Santorum may be right. Last month Santorum made the claim that Boston's "liberalism" and "sexual freedom" were responsible for the Catholic Church's sexual abuse scandal. According to Santorum, in an environment where "alternative views of sexuality" are accepted, people (read: Priests) can sometimes take that the wrong way (read: rape children).
Admittedly, I was taken aback myself. I've been to Boston, and the entire time I was there, nothing sexual occurred. I even drank the water (if that has anything to do with it).
So imagine my surprise today, when I learn that Santorum may have been correct. Boston is, in fact, a city that glorifies and promotes alternative sexual views, that, in fact, flaunts those views.
There are two swans--two lovebirds, if you will--that live in the Public Garden. They float together, canoodle wantonly, and generally delight passersby with their public displays of affection. So well known are these swans that their nicknames are Romeo and Juliet. Sweet, isn't it? But guess what? They're lesbos. LESBIAN SWANS!
They had scientists identify their sexes because the eggs they layed never hatched. The eggs hadn't been fertilized by a male swan. This deceit has been going on for YEARS. The worst part is that it took scientists to figure out they were gay. I had my suspicions when I noticed that one of the swans wore Doc Martins and the other one drove a pick up truck. I gave the city the benefit of the doubt.
Turns out I was wrong. Rick Santorum was right. Boston is morally depraved.