Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Walmart Needs a New Publicist

That thought crossed my mind yesterday. It seems every time the store's name is mentioned in print, it's something negative. You know, they hire illegal aliens, put mom and pop stores out of business, lock workers inside the store...things like that. Things that, to a group of stockholders, are no big deal, but that, to the general public, is mildly abhorrent. And I thought I'd read something about Walmart trying to change its image. If that's the case, the past couple days have not been good for them.

See, if you want to win us over, try not to kill anyone, even if the person was caught stealing. It's hard not to kill when your adrenaline is pumping, but sometimes it's more important to think of how it will look like to the public than how good it will feel to exact revenge. Also, if the person is stealing diapers, well, that's another little detail that could bite you in the ass.

Anyway, that was yesterday--a person killed in a Walmart parking lot. So today I'm doing my little news perusal and another headline jumps out at me: Baby Found in Walmart Toilet. Luckily none of the workers killed it. Still, though, this is the kind of thing that should be happening at Kmart or Target.

Even worse than those two stories, is this one: Walmart Predicts Weak Third Quarter. Ouch. This really hurts.

I don't know what they could do to bolster their image just yet, but I'm working on it. Any ideas?


DogsDontPurr said...

Now don't go eating babies that you find in the toilet, Ok? That's just gross!

VagabondLoafer said...

I’ve been to Wal-Mart just three times. On two of those occasions I made it as far as the checkout counter but was unable to make the purchase because the cashier could not determine the items’ price. Even after waiting ten-plus minutes, with a long line forming behind me and still no luck. I left the merchandise sitting at the register and walked out. I don’t shop there anymore. Though, with low prices, it is hard to avoid shopping at those types of stores.
Wal-Mart’s employees, as in most big-box stores receive zero training and then are quickly turned loose in the store to run things as best they can. Many spend the day ducking customers.
Laura, how about the slogan-->
‘Wal-Mart, America’s company store.’ Remember that old Tennessee Ernie Ford song ’Sixteen Tons.’

elBishio said...

Yo swish,
Here's an advert for them.
I used to work at BigW (Australia's arm of the Walmart family). I never once found any sort of babies in the toilets. I found cockroaches in the ferrero roches, and silverfish in the cadbury, but never once did I stumble upon a baby.
Also, I now have a lucrative career in IT. My working at BigW had absolutely no impact on my job in IT. I least there was nothing negative that it did for my career, right? Thats gotta count for something, surely?!

ChozSun said...

Seriously, they could offer great Health, Dental and Vision Insurance for little or no cost to their employees. But what they like to do is hire employees for little money and no benefits and the employees are so broke that they have to shop at Wal-Mart (usually the only store in town.)

Clinton Freeman said...

They can connect company profits to corporate responsiblity.

1. A scene of someone behind a Walmart, wearing a Walmart vest, and searching for food in a Walmart dumpster.
The caption or voice over would be: "Shop at Walmart and we'll start paying a living wage."

2. The inside of a shanty. It's completely dark and silent except for the wind and light coming through gaps in the wall. The only sign of water is the stains and puddles left by the last rain. A brown baby lays on rags covered in dirt and little else. There is some sign that the mother makes Walmart products.
The caption or voice over would be: "If you don't shop at Walmart, we can't stop killing babies".

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