The headline reads, "Clowns 'Boost Fertility'", and there's a picture of a clown, a brightly-colored, vaguely-smiling clown. The clown's smile seems to say, "S'up?", like he's just hanging out with a bunch of large balloons behind him, no biggie.
In Israel, doctors are turning to clowns to help women get pregnant. I'm not kidding. Clowns are now on hospital payroll to have sex with, and impregnate, Israeli women. According to the article, women find clowns highly sensual and arousing, as well as non-threatening, and had a better chance of getting pregnant with a clown than with a man with a less-annoying profession.
Single, career-oriented women who want families, but don't have spouses, are turning to clowns, as opposed to Internet dating, to find fathers for their children. Under a new law, sperm donors no longer have to be anonymous and, in fact, can donate sperm, uh, directly to the patient. This has created a boon in the clown business.
But the new law has had unintended consequences. Parents are discovering that it's suddenly much more difficult to book clowns for childrens' parties because of their new duties. So other types of entertainment are getting in on the children's party market, such as mimes and psychics.
After I read the article I realized that Americans would never allow clowns to offer the same kind of service in this country, no matter what the health benefits to women are. If sex with clowns could cure cancer, there's no way our government would secure the funding to create the infrastructure to end cancer. Because Americans are too puritanical.