Thanks to the courage of Mark Foley, I now can admit that I, too, am an alcoholic. I was drunk when I went on an anti-semitic rant on the PCH, and drunk when I exchanged sexually excplicit emails with 16-year-old boys. I'm going to check into rehab and forget all of this ever happened. You should too.
P.S. I accidentally killed a man as well. Alcoholism is a terrible disease.