Sunday, December 17, 2006

In Scotland, Squirrel Promiscuity Is Encouraged















The only way to interpret this news is to realize that Scottish people are immoral. According to "The Scotsman", Scottish grey-squirrels are going to go on birth control. This, despite the fact that the only sure-fire way to keep squirrels from getting pregnant is abstinence. Every God-fearing person knows that giving birth control to squirrels just encourages them to have more sex. The Scottish are sanctioning a culture of promiscuity and immorality. And don't give me that bull about how condoms reduce the spread of squirrel HIV. If squirrels stopped having sex completely, squirrel AIDS would cease to exist. It's too bad other nations can't see that.

2 comments:

Clinton Freeman said...

All I want is the squirrels to stop eating the bulbs in my garden. That's why I let what had been a stray cat in to my house.
The down side is he escapes every chance he gets, but he wants us to leave the door open so he can come in whenever he pleases. But one morning I did find a squirrel tail in my kitchen. I guess I have to wait to see if I get flowers in the spring.

Vert said...

A sign of the decline of western civilization. That's one of the reasons Gibbon said that Rome fell, humping squirrels.