Friday, September 26, 2008

Not Cute

I'm not sure where people get the idea that puppies are adorable. This is a falsehood. In point of fact, puppies are destruction wrapped in fur. Their slogan should be: Destruction you can pet. And that's what makes them dangerous. These creatures lure you in with soft eyes and bemused expressions and you think, "Awwwwwwwwwwwww", which is not a thought so much as a primal response to downy softness. Let your guard down for a minute and BAM!...every item in one's bedroom that has not been put away, is strewn about the front patio, ripped, chewed, destroyed.

Having a puppy is like having your very own Fannie Mae or Freddy Mac at home, just biding its time before it brings financial ruin. As I wrote that last sentence, guess what creature was tumbling through the living room with a satin bra in his mouth?

It should be known that I am an amazing neighbor. While my two neighbors are off attending a wedding somewhere, I am looking after the above creature.

Pray for me.


Butternut said...

Bean being bad? I myself have a set of dining chairs whose legs are all chewed on. At least they all match.

Laura Swisher said...

Bean is the most well-behaved dog on the planet (unless there are squirrels involved). I'm dog sitting.