Thursday, January 29, 2009

I Just Adopted a New

My old one gave me the infamous black screen that made all my go-to geeks say "Uhhh...this isn't good." And since my Powerbook was already too slow, I took it as a sign to replace it. Unfortunately, the upgrades I wanted (more Ram, faster speed) can't be done at the store so my baby is being shipped out. From overseas. It looks like I won't get her until next week and I'm broken up about that.

If I'm lucky, the Apple stork will send me octuplets. I'd be worried if I already had 6 other computers, but I don't. I have one foster computer from work but that's about all.

Favorite part of that story? News station says it's "not yet known" if the woman used fertility drugs. I haven't confirmed it with anyone, but I'm pretty sure she mainlined, snorted and smoked them.


Butternut said...

Black screen? Wow, yeah, that doesn't sound good. When you say "go-to geeks" something tells me you have an army of them (present company included, *sigh*).

"When we see something like this in the general fertility world, it gives us the heebie-jeebies." Sounds like someone watches too much Scrubs (present company included, *sigh*). Fertility itself gives me the jeebies, but not the heebies. I had a case of the heebies when I was young and now I'm immune.

So, what are you writing these blogs on?? Cell phone?

tankboy2902 said...

Now, I'm no doctor, but doesn't a woman's uterus and/or vagina, in classic Thelma and Louise mode, when attacked by too many fetuses moving out or too many penises moving in, exhibit a fight or flight response, whereby they rip
themselves from the woman's body and escape into the wild, to prey on the unsuspecting unexpectedly? With acidic saliva? I'm pretty sure that's right because I remember learning that in either high school biology class or from Rush Limbaugh. That was the original backstory to ALIEN before they went with a creature from another planet. Or so it's said. Anything to supress the fact that women with their vaginas and other reproduction parts that don't resemble anything violent like either pistols or cannons or the Washington Monument or the main guns on the battleship USS New Jersey are evil and should be repressed and not paid equally. Another liberal conspiracy. You people disgust me.

SWISH! You only have TWO computers!? You disgust me. In addition to the previous disgust.

Personally, I hate fixing laptops, unless the person really can't afford it. Did anyone shine a light into the screen to see if the backlight had died? It doesn't matter, because you now have the excuse to perform that most pleasurable of American rituals, buying new shit with money you may or may not have. Of course Obama is trying to break us of this habit, since it's what got us in the current mess, but it's good to see you on the forefront of giving him the finger and spending willy-nilly with wild abandon and throwing caution to the winds without a care in the world and I can't think of anymore cliches at the moment.

Call me jaded, but human octuplets don't impress me anymore. If an elephant does it, I'm impressed. But Homo sapiens sapiens? Unless there's sixteen or more shooting out of there I just change the channel. And how do you name all those kids at once? If it were me there'd be a Flintstone in there, and maybe a THX 1138. Or name them all George Foreman (Grill). And make sure the nurse leaves in
the parentheses. Or a Monty Python name like Sergeant Major Kenneth Worthington Ford Taurus, spam-based names being too obvious.

Actually, I think you deserve a more powerful computer with a bigger screen. Anything that will help you fit a few more icons in there.

VagabondLoafer said...

I find through the BBC the L.A. Times reports the octs’ maternal grandmother said her daughter already had six young children and never expected the fertility treatment she had received would result in eight more babies. And Pops is headed back to Iraq as a contractor. Good luck Mom.

And re: Mail Just 5 Days a Week? You post regularly enough. Of the seven home page tabs that I have designated in Firefox one is assigned to your blog.