This is therapy with spell check. Instead of seeking answers to actual problems, however, I will be petty and superficial. It's less work. Please enjoy.
Monday, January 23, 2006
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
To kill you.
Again, folks, chickens aren't your friends. Don't kiss them.
The highlight of this story isn't the girl kissing the chicken, it's when the parents smacked her around for doing so and she rubbed her teary eyes with her chicken dirty hands.
The headline may as well read "smacking your kids may lead to bird flu".
I don't know what's the big deal. That's like the question, "Which came first the chicken or the egg?" Of course the answer is the egg and you don't mess around with chicken shit. You would be better off drinking lead paint or wearing a plutonium jock strap.
1. If you find yourself sexually attracted to chicken, either change your name is "Gonzo the Great" or keep it to yourself. 2. My advice is the same for all such situations; "No glove, No love." 3. I would only add to #2 that under no circumstances should you practice chickenlingus.
I'm a self-absorbed artist type who just re-relocated from Los Angeles to San Francisco to Los Angeles. In LA self-absorbed artist types have head shots. In San Francisco they have single gear bicycles, which are much more difficult to hand out. I hosted some shows for TV and TV.com, and I do stand-up.
11 comments:
*Pees himself*
Oh my, those chickeny bastards! They told me they were clean!
The highlight of this story isn't the girl kissing the chicken, it's when the parents smacked her around for doing so and she rubbed her teary eyes with her chicken dirty hands.
The headline may as well read "smacking your kids may lead to bird flu".
Hmm... she was from Turkey. What are the odds?
I don't know what's the big deal. That's like the question, "Which came first the chicken or the egg?"
Of course the answer is the egg and you don't mess around with chicken shit.
You would be better off drinking lead paint or wearing a plutonium jock strap.
RIP Chris Penn
June 10, 1962 - January 25, 2006
What if the chicken, is like, totally hot?
1. If you find yourself sexually attracted to chicken, either change your name is "Gonzo the Great" or keep it to yourself.
2. My advice is the same for all such situations; "No glove, No love."
3. I would only add to #2 that under no circumstances should you practice chickenlingus.
I guess that also goes for Chick-Fil-A-tio?
I hope Laura writes this stuff down.
I hope Laura doesn't read this...
I KID, I really just hope that I never see madeup words describing chicken oriented oral sex ever again.
Luckily I don't have to write it down because it's already "written" down.
Chik-a-fil-atio. Good stuff.
Post a Comment